Maybe it’s the headlines. Or stuff on Facebook. Or the fires burning up California. I told a friend yesterday, “I just can’t take anymore bad news.”

But then the rain came down. And the firefighters danced. And today felt like a long sigh of relief.

Sort of.

The smell of smoke and rain. Together in the valley. Things are kind of bad and kind of good and I’m sort of hanging in the balance of this dual existence right now.

This bittersweet life.

And what I’ve really discovered in the past several years of drought and loss and life kind of crappy is I put a whole lot of my hope in the things of this world.

I told a friend whose teenage grandson is fiercely battling cancer, “I want the happy ending.” With tears running down my face I confessed it and then added what Christians are supposed to say, “I know we get our happy ending in heaven.” And this just kind of stuck in my throat because I know it’s true, but I really need to swallow it.

I need to believe it. Accept it. And live it.

And I need to stop crying. But sad things just keep coming. I hope my friend’s fourteen-year-old grandson beats cancer. I hope the drought ends this winter. I hope the fires stop burning tonight. This very night. California’s governor says the devastating fires will go on for months. I hope he’s wrong. I hope God opens the flood gates and it rains and rains and rains. And all the lakes fill up. And all the rivers fill up. And everything turns green again in California.

They call El Nino the Christ child because this weather phenomena that’s supposed to bring relief to California comes at Christmas time. I find this a beautiful backdrop for my struggle with where I place my hope. Californians are hoping El Nino ends the drought, but what’s really behind El Nino?

The Bible says God’s in charge of the rain. Fifty-one Bible verses assure us God provides rain or doesn’t provide rain for us here on earth.

James 5:18 Then he prayed again, and heaven gave rain, and the earth bore its fruit.

Leviticus 26:4 Then I will give you your rains in their season, and the land shall yield its increase, and the trees of the field shall yield their fruit.

Zechariah 10:1 Ask rain from the Lord in the season of the spring rain, from the Lord who makes the storm clouds, and he will give them showers of rain, to everyone the vegetation in the field.

Isaiah 55:10 “For as the rain and the snow come down from heaven and do not return there but water the earth, making it bring forth and sprout, giving seed to the sower and bread to the eater,

1 Kings 8:35 “When heaven is shut up and there is no rain because they have sinned against you, if they pray toward this place and acknowledge your name and turn from their sin, when you afflict them,

 

I won’t list all 51 verses, but do you see the pattern here? We may be looking at El Nino, but God’s behind El Nino. I may be looking at earthly things, but God’s behind earthly things. Have I anchored my hope in Him?

This is where I’m at today. Doing my best to anchor myself to Jesus.

The road seems long.

Like that time we drove to Montana with my parents. Two pickup trucks piled with little kids. And we drove and drove and drove. Especially coming home. I was pregnant and tired and two little boys were whining in their car seats and I thought we’d never get home.

And finally we were home.

Roads don’t go on forever. And neither do droughts.