Yesterday, I spent some time with Ellie and her mom, Audrey. Today is Ellie’s birthday. She is a year old and beyond cute. Ellie has changed her mommy’s life in so many wonderful ways. As the autumn afternoon spun out warm and sweet with Ellie playing between us, Audrey and I talked about motherhood. The hidden magnificence of it.

So much of motherhood is unseen. Unsung. And unappreciated by the world. Like the foundation of a house. Nobody looks at a house from the street and says, “Wow, what an amazing, concrete foundation! That foundation’s doing marvelous things holding up that house!” Houses tend to be appreciated for their curb appeal. Like women are appreciated for their physical beauty, or what they accomplish in their careers, not for being tired moms with babies in their arms, and spit up on their shirts.

Recently, while doing Cynthia Heald’s Bible study, Becoming a Woman Whose God is Enough, I realized I still get a lot of my self-esteem from my writing. But what if my writing never amounts to much? What if, in the end, I have nothing more to show for my life than a houseful of happy children who become decent people? What if the ministry of motherhood is my only successful ministry? Ever.

Is motherhood enough for me?

Let me ask all you mommies out there… Is it enough to just be a good mom? To simply raise nice children? To cook and clean. To wash and love your little ones? Every. Single. Day. What if making a happy home for your family is the only thing you ever really accomplish with your life?

How many of you heard nails on a chalkboard just now? That screeching in your spirit of resisting such an old-fashioned notion? Just a mom? Just a wife? Just a homemaker?

But let’s go here for a moment. What if today’s women all became homemakers again? I know. I hear you. I understand. The world has changed. Many women today are their home’s only breadwinner. They have to work outside the home to feed their children, to feed themselves. But I’m just imaging a world right now where every mom could stay at home and raise her children without worrying about the bills. Without worrying about a career. Without worrying about fulfilling her own personal desires. Her own personal agendas and aspirations. Her own personal ambitions. What would this do to our society? To our families today?

I’ve probably already upset a lot of women here, so let’s just focus on Christian women. What if every Christian woman made motherhood her primary ministry? She didn’t pour her heart into other ministries. Didn’t spend several days a week putting her children in the church daycare so she can minister out there where people applaud her efforts. What if her passion, her energy, and her time primarily went into loving and caring for her own husband and children and making her home a happy place?

What would this look like for the Church today?

Here’s what I know. If moms poured their hearts into their own homes, their own families, their own husbands, there’d be a lot less ministry out there for us to do. If we had well-loved husbands and well-loved children and well-loved homes, the hurting families in our world would dwindle away. Yes, this is a sacrificial way to live as a woman. A dying to oneself. A leaning out instead of leaning in to what our world says is important. Believe me, I love doing ministry outside my home. People see me. People appreciate me. People say, “You’re such a good person.”

Inside my home people say, “MOM! I need toilet paper! MOM! Make me something to eat! MOM! Where is my football jersey! Haven’t you washed my football jersey yet? MOM!” I’m walking around barefoot. My hair in a ponytail for twenty years. I’ve been pregnant or dripping milk like a cow for over half my life in the confines of my home. Do I feel like I’ve accomplished much on this earth?

Not really.

Do I feel like this quiet life inside my home taking good care of my husband and children is pleasing to God? Absolutely.

The Bible says, “the older women likewise, that they be reverent in behavior, not slanderers, not give to much wine, teachers of good things– that they admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” Titus 2:3. 

I know, the word of God is challenging. Sometimes I read it and weep.

Proverbs 12:4 says, “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband.”

Probably many of us would like to crown our husbands. Not necessarily by being an excellent wife. Just hitting our husband over the head with a Bible would probably make us feel better for a minute or two. But I remember the day God put his finger on my life and said, “Let’s do this together.” I was ready to walk out the door of my unhappy home and never look back, but God said, “Do not get a divorce. Love your husband and I will love you.” I was barely into my thirties. Barely getting by. Barely staying married. Hearing God that day rocked my world. Obeying God changed my life.

Today, I tell young wives and mommies, concentrate on caring for your own home. Your own husband. Your own kids. If everyone is happy and thriving at home, you can probably serve outside your home doing one ministry. This is what Cynthia Heald teaches. “Just ONE ministry outside your home.”

If your home isn’t happy, do what you need to do to fix it. If your marriage is hurting, minister there. If your children are struggling, minister there. If your home is in shambles, minister there. Tell people who want you to do ministry, “When my home is happy, I will serve. When my husband’s needs are all met, I will serve. When my children are all set, I will serve.”

If the ministry of motherhood takes everything you’ve got, and you can’t do anything else right now, it’s enough. Believe me, motherhood is more than enough. You won’t be popular at church, you might not even be seen at church, but does that really matter to you? Does that really matter to your kids who need you?

Look at those precious, little faces at home. Look at the face of your husband and try to remember the way you looked at him on your wedding day. Look into the face of God and ask Him to help you be the mother He created you to be. The wife He created you to be. Motherhood is a magnificent calling. If it’s the only ministry you ever do, you can change the world, one child at a time.