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Diamonds in the Storm

After two weeks of illness, JoJo is finally on the mend, but Baby Cruz is sick now. And I’ve been sick. So sick I spent the bulk of this week in bed. Scott has missed work. Our older kids have missed school. My mom missed Bible study, caring for me in shifts while I struggle to nurse the baby every few hours because all he wants is warm milk since he’s sick, too. And I have a secondary infection that makes nursing agony, and in praying for healing, I’ve about pounded down heaven’s door, but all I hear is, “Trust and […]

By Paula March 15, 2012

Storms and Sand Dollars

Two weeks ago we drove to the beach. One of those spur-of-the-moment, Saturday surprises that put us in the car all day with six of our kids. Hours over to the coast, and hours back, with a lovely break in between for lunch.We checked the weather report that morning. “Sunny and clear at Bodega Bay” said the Internet, but when we arrived early that afternoon, a fierce wind blasted sand in our faces. The sun was gone. The waves dark and cold. Scott and the baby lasted ten minutes on the stormy shore. The older kids and I made it a […]

By Paula March 8, 2012

BAREFOOT

Hope you like the look of my new blog. Why barefoot? Because it helps me slow down. To walk more carefully and softly with my eyes on the gifts God leaves all over the place. I’m weary of keeping up with the crowd. So I’m putting my foot down… Barefoot. I refuse to live a busy life. Just as I tell my boys, “No bad words like stupid or butthead.” I’m telling myself this year, “No busy.” I’ve noticed taking off my shoes helps. Once I’m barefoot, I settle down. Admire the bluebirds on the fence. Almond blossoms on the trees. […]

By Paula February 28, 2012

Bluebirds and Silverbacks

His eyes are the color of a bluebird’s wing. And he feathers our nest so nicely. Making the fire. Making the coffee. Making the bills.Making a bunch of beautiful little blue-eyed bluebird boys. Five in a row.He calls them his man-clan.And yet I told him the other day the man-clan is driving me crazy.The constant wrestling.The scratching themselves.The peeing in the yard.“I feel like I live with gorillas,” I told him. “And here’s the problem. You’re the worst because you are the silverback. The leader of these gorillas. And you’re such a man!”There I said it. With tears in my […]

By Paula February 24, 2012

The Little Hen

The little hen waits at the chicken coop door. The other chickens want their food. She wants a tender look. The other chickens are strong and proud. She is meek and sweet. They eat first. She eats last. She watches me come and watches me go, the one who nourishes her. Always watching for me, the little hen with her broken beak. Last spring she came to us as a chick. Lost in a fluff pile of other chicks from the feed store. Her little, shattered beak a death sentence. We bought her that way. Already broken. Yet, it was […]

By Paula February 6, 2012

MY OWN WAY

“Are you determined to have your own way in living for God? We will never be free from this trap until we are brought into the experience of the baptism of “the Holy Spirit and fire” (Matthew 3:11). Stubbornness and self-will will always stab Jesus Christ. It may hurt no one else, but it wounds His Spirit. Whenever we are obstinate and self-willed and set on our own ambitions, we are hurting Jesus. Every time we stand on our own rights and insist that this is what we intend to do, we are persecuting Him. Whenever we rely on self-respect, […]

By Paula January 28, 2012

Worn out Christians

We’re working at getting 10 month old Cruz to sleep through the night. His normal routine is snooze a few hours, nurse, snooze, nurse, snooze all night long. After nearly a year of only a few hours of sleep at a stretch, I’m worn out. Last night I put my foot down. Nursed Cruz at 11 pm, then did not pick him up again until 5 am. Scott took the night shift, and all of us listened to Cruz wail on and off until morning. Today I’m worn out. And not just physically. Spiritually, I’m tired. Tired of the broken church. Broken marriages. Broken parents. […]

By Paula January 27, 2012