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Happy New Year 2021 friends…

Our new year is still buried in uncertainty since Benjamin isn’t here yet. I’ve been waiting to send another newsletter until his birth, but here we are into January, and Lacy is still pregnant. It’s a miracle that finds us holding our breath. Doctors predicted Benjamin would be stillborn back in September. And yet, everything the doctors declared about Lacy’s pregnancy has not come to pass. We continue to declare the name of Jesus over Lacy’s unborn baby. The Bible says God knits babies together in their mothers’ wombs so we are counting on the Lord to make Benjamin for […]

By Paula January 4, 2021

Quick update on Baby Benjamin and the Christmas star…

This past weekend the sunset was so pretty. Driving home on our backroad, I snapped this photo through the windshield with Scott driving. The winding road reminds me of our journey with baby Benjamin. We still don’t know what’s up ahead, but God goes before us, and we are confident we will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living, Psalm 27:13. Lacy is having a rough pregnancy. She is sick a lot and having trouble gaining weight. Please pray for her. In just one more month Benjamin is due and Lacy will need all the […]

By Paula December 15, 2020

Merry Christmas 2020 from our family to yours…

When we took this family photo back in March, we had no idea two days later, California would go into lockdown. Fortunately, all the boys got haircuts for Oma’s birthday picture, so closed barbershops weren’t our biggest concern. As a substitute teacher when we’re not farming, Scott was immediately out of a job. It took the boys about a week to eat everything in the house. Soon we were living on wild turkey with the boys hunting all spring, and later venison after Joey shot his first buck. John traveled to Alaska to work on a salmon boat for the […]

By Paula November 29, 2020

We continue to ride a rollercoaster of hope and grief…

Our daughter Lacy is now 32 weeks pregnant and baby Benjamin is growing well. We so appreciate your prayers for the miracle that Benjamin will be born healthy, though all medical tests have indicated he won’t live. God’s ways are not our ways. The Bible says, “We glory in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope,” Romans 5:3-4. I don’t know about you, but I don’t like suffering. I want to be happy, healthy, well-off, and wise. And I want that even more for my children. And yet, we all face heartbreak. Most of us […]

By Paula November 18, 2020

When suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope…

It’s hard to believe November is already here and Baby Benjamin is growing in Lacy’s womb, though doctors said he’d be gone by now. We thought we were facing a stillbirth in September, yet here we are two months later with a little grandson who has stolen our hearts and forced us to, “Be still and know that He is God” Psalm 46:10. I’ll be honest. I am hopeful but afraid. When you give your heart to loving someone there is always the possibility of losing them. It’s hard to talk about loss when our grandbaby is still so alive, […]

By Paula November 2, 2020

Will you please pray for a miracle with us?

In early September, our pregnant daughter received terrible news. Her unborn baby boy was diagnosed with issues incompatible with life. We were devastated and expected a stillbirth in the coming days. All tests indicated baby Benjamin would no longer grow and develop, he was already declining, said the doctors. Our daughter and her husband were given the gut-wrenching option to terminate the pregnancy but chose not to and returned home from the hospital heartbroken. That was over a month ago. Against the odds, our grandson is still growing in our daughter’s womb. He’s kicking around like normal babies do and […]

By Paula October 17, 2020

When You’re Facing Loss…

I didn’t think 2020 could get any worse, and then it did. Each morning I wake up and for a moment I am fine, then it hits me. The recognition of grief. Like grief has been standing beside my bed waiting for me to open my eyes. It wants to be acknowledged and entertained like an unwelcome relative that won’t leave your home. I remember this same feeling when Anna died. You think, oh no, did I dream this terrible thing? Please let this be a bad dream, but you know it’s not a dream. And loss spills like twilight […]

By Paula September 30, 2020