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The Value of Benjamin’s One-Minute Life

Benjamin’s Celebration of Life was just family on a cold day in February due to Covid restrictions. Lacy and Jake wanted to share the ceremony with everyone, so they had a video made. We finally received the video yesterday. Ben’s ashes were scattered on the pond behind Lacy and Jake’s home in the Butte Sink as we all sang and released biodegradable lanterns into the sky. It was a stunning day of smiles, tears, and the touch of God’s hand. We are so thankful for Ben’s one-minute life. That’s how long our grandson lived after he was born. And then […]

By Paula April 26, 2021

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are…

A few weeks ago we took family pictures. As usual, I was the crazy mom trying to control my kids. They’ve gotten so big and I’ve become the Snoopy adult from the Peanuts cartoon. Nobody really listens to me. I sound blah blah blah blah, even to myself. With seven kids, and now four grandbabies as well, getting a good family photo is about impossible. Like everything else in life, I’m learning to cast aside my expectations to experience what’s really happening: the good, bad, bone-jarringly beautiful, blazingly fast thing called life. Of course, I planned my life out years […]

By Paula April 10, 2021

Writing Workshops and Road Trips

I didn’t know our first Write to Live workshop would open new doors, not just to teach writing, but to discover something in my heart that needs healing. Something that hurts. Sometimes God has to break through our walls to set us free. I just kind of like my walls. They make me feel safe. But I don’t want to live safe. I want to live free. And I want to write free too. But first, let’s talk about the fun we had! I picked up Macki Smith: The Peace-Seeking Mom from Mississippi, and Alice Crider, my amazing author coach […]

By Paula March 31, 2021

Write to Live

At ten years old, I realized writing helped me figure out life. I was in the fifth grade and my family had just moved. I was the new kid at school and felt out of place. I’d left an old-fashioned two-room country schoolhouse with five students in my grade, four girls and one boy if I remember correctly, and my new school seemed huge. Like I’d hit the big city. Or more accurately, the big city had hit me. And it hurt. On my first day of school, a boy asked me if I was a virgin. I was Catholic […]

By Paula March 12, 2021

Writers in Bloom

For years, I’ve dreamed of hosting a writing retreat on our farm. I didn’t think it would happen until the boys were grown. Once we had an empty nest and cozy rooms for writers to stay in our home. But Covid changed things. Because of the pandemic, Writers in Bloom was born. And it was amazing. Last spring, we had tried to nail down a lodge to rent in California for our author group, but because of Covid, nobody could guarantee us a place. “What do you think of holding the writers retreat here at our farm?” I asked Alice. […]

By Paula February 23, 2021

What Lives On

Benjamin was born on a Thursday. By Sunday our family was hiking in the Sutter Buttes, the smallest mountain range in the world, and my childhood home. I find this land very life-giving. Our family needed to live. To love. To make it to Peace Valley in the heart of the Sutter Buttes. We didn’t mean for Lacy to go with us. Didn’t even invite her at first. She’d just had a baby. We’d planned the hike before Benjamin’s birth. “I want to come,” Lacy said when she heard we were hiking that Sunday. “You just had a baby,” I […]

By Paula January 31, 2021

It’s Pruning Season and Benjamin’s Birthday

I know you want to hear about Benjamin’s birth but let me start with pruning season because once I write about Benjamin, I’m not sure I will be able to keep going. It’s pruning season on our farm. This time of year, I always feel sorry for our fruit trees. Their summer glory is cut off and they look stripped bare when Santos is finished with them. And yet Santos knows what he’s doing. He’s preparing our trees for spring and summer. Making room for new growth. The coming bloom. Hopefully a bountiful harvest. It reminds me of what our […]

By Paula January 16, 2021