Her picture is still on our refrigerator, like it’s been since Anna was a little girl. Watching her grow up on our fridge. In our lives. Each year a little taller, a little slimmer, a little longer hair. The last picture on our refrigerator is from prom 2015. Anna smiling in a white dress, standing beside her older sister, Emily, in her black and white prom dress just days before Anna died. Such beautiful girls, frozen in time, smiling at me when I grab a carton of milk.

How did we do a year without Anna?

I remember driving to the hospital the morning after the accident thinking, “How will we get through this? How will our family go on?

Driving to the funeral in Grass Valley, with the whispering pines in the cemetery, wondering how will we do this? How will our family go on?

Then seeing the candy bar at the reception after the funeral, Anna’s idea. A fourteen-year-old girl calling her best friend the week before she died saying, “I want a candy bar at my funeral for everyone to enjoy.”

How did Anna know she would be leaving us so soon? That her little cousins would need that candy bar? Our boys filled their pockets before dinner. “Can we eat some now?” seven-year-old G2 asked, his eyes full of eager sadness. I remembered Anna at the cabin trailing G2 around like his guardian angel. Anna at family events always watching over the little ones. “Eat as much as you want,” I told him. “Anna left this candy for you.”

How did we get through those first few days without Anna? Those first few months without our Anna?

How did we get to August 19th, Anna’s birthday? How did we do summer without our Anna so full of sunshine? So full of thoughtfulness? So full of love?

The signs popped up everywhere, all across the country on August 19th. “Anna was here.”

When Anna was younger, she’d carved “Anna was here” into a wooden desk at St. Mary’s School. “She wanted to be remembered,” said her mom, Denise.

That desk carving episode taught Anna a valuable lesson. She learned life wasn’t about her. Anna came to the conclusion life was about what you did for others. That’s what really mattered. Leave something good for everyone. Don’t live for yourself. Live with the purpose of helping others, Anna decided after scarring that desk with her name.

She went on to give her 8th grade valedictorian speech on helping others, helping her family, helping her community. Making sure others could go on if she wasn’t there. Just like that candy bar at the funeral, Anna always thinking about what she could do for someone else.

I’m temped to say, I don’t know how we made it through a whole year without our precious Anna. How did our family survive that first 4th of July at the cabin without Anna watching over her little cousins? Pushing them on the tire swing hanging from the ponderosa pine facing the mountain. Helping the boys load marshmallows onto the willow sticks we cut from the creek to make our s’mores. How did we make it through Anna’s birthday, and Thanksgiving and Christmas?

But I can’t say I don’t know, because I know.

Anna’s love was there. Your love was there. And God’s love was there.

We made it through a whole year without Anna because love has carried us through. The power of love has overwhelmed us. The power of love has changed us. Life will never be the same without our amazing Anna, but I can honestly say, we’ve learned the power of love.

 

Anna was a ray of love to all who knew her. In honor of Anna, please spread the love today.

Anna was an incredible student and in her memory, the Anna O’neill foundation has been established to bless students with scholarships to further their education.

Please say a prayer for our family. Anna left us on May 13th 2015. This whole year has been hard. But Anna’s love is still with us. Your love is with us. And God’s love is with us.

Whatever you’re facing today, let love carry you through this day. This month. This year. Because the greatest of all is love…

http://www.annaoneillfoundation.com/