I didn’t realize how much my Bible meant to me until the day I ran out the door with two little boys and my Bible in my arms with fire alarms blaring. A power surge hit our house, blowing up appliances, making the TV smoke, crackling though our house like an electrical snake. I thought the house would burn down. In a split second, I grabbed what I loved most: my boys and my Bible, and raced to my car.

Why the car? I don’t know. But I found myself shaking beside our old Suburban in the driveway, holding a baby and a terrified toddler and my worn brown leather Bible, while dialing the fire department. In that moment of chaos, I had octopus arms and adrenaline strength.

When it was all said and done, we had thousands of dollars in damage to appliances and our water pump, but no fire from the surge. PG&E reimbursed us for some of the loss after months of wrangling.

The blessing of all this? I discovered how much my Bible meant to me.

I never leave home without it.

Some days I read and the words all blur together. Worries cloud my mind and I struggle to focus on God’s truth and promises instead of my thoughts and feelings. But other days it’s like looking through a microscope, seeing another world settle into focus. The spiritual realm. Just like the microscopic realm can’t be seen without a microscope, the landscape of the Spirit isn’t exposed without the light of the Bible. But to grasp the way of the Spirit revealed in the Bible, “we must walk by faith, not by sight,” Corinthians 5:7.

Often this involves waiting.

Just like we wait for answers in the medical realm.

I still have that lump. Can’t have my ultrasound for another week. In the meantime, the promise, “they will have no fear of bad news; their hearts are steadfast, trusting in the Lord,” Psalm 112:7 has quieted my heart.

Six years ago, while pregnant with baby number six, an ultrasound revealed our baby had cysts in his brain. “This may indicate Down syndrome,” said the doctor. “We want to do further testing, but you have to travel to Sacramento for it.”

Scott and I decided not to head for the big city to do those tests. We saw no good purpose in it. We would not terminate a pregnancy. This was our baby no matter what was right or wrong with his little brain and body. Plus the tests were expensive and we couldn’t really afford them.

So we waited.

For five months, we waited on the Lord. It was brutal. And beautiful. Each day sitting down with my Bible. Crying all over it. Splashing its pages with big, salty tears. Begging the Lord to heal those cysts in our baby’s brain. Begging the Lord for a healthy boy.

Some days I found comfort in the Word of God.

Other days I didn’t.

Some days I walked around shattered and afraid in the midst of this uncertain pregnancy.

Other days, I floated on my faith, certain the Lord had heard my prayers and was healing our baby’s brain in my womb.

Then one day I read, “I remain confident of this: I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living” Psalm 27:13. That scripture struck my heart like an arrow.

Not long after that, I woke in the deep darkness of the night. The Lord’s warm presence there in our bedroom was palpable. I grabbed my flashlight and Bible. Flipping my Bible open, my flashlight landed on this verse, “So the woman conceived and bore a son. And when she saw that he was a beautiful child, she hid him three months” Exodus 2:2.

In that moment, the LORD spoke to my heart, “He is a beautiful child.” Strangely, I had about three months left in my pregnancy. This beautiful child would remain hidden in my womb for another three months. But in that moment, my faith became sight, I saw our beautiful child.

And number six, G2, is special. When I was in labor with him, they did an ultrasound and couldn’t find any cysts in his brain. He’s normal and healthy and the sweetest of our boys. Everyone loves G2.

We all place our hope somewhere.

In ourselves. In our spouse. In our friends.

Maybe we place our hope in our career. Our bank account. In doctors we count on to heal us. Perhaps we place our hope in the government. I realize many folks I know have lost confidence in the government, but plenty of people in America today depend on the government to meet their needs.

Each morning, I need my handful of vitamins. Doctors recommended these after my hospital stay last spring since I was low on potassium and other important nutrients. I’m hoping these vitamins improve my health.

Our hope is placed in something.

So I pick up my Bible. Open it on my lap as I slip my reading glasses onto my face. Search God’s word for meaning and truth. Read these biblical stories in the hope that my own story will make more sense. Most of all, I read the word to know God. I love the Lord and I want to know Jesus better so I read in red to get ahead. Have you heard this saying? The words of Jesus are written in red in many Bibles.

Jesus has never let me down. If you place your hope in Him, the Lord won’t let you down, either. His word is a lamp for our feet, a light on our path, Psalm 119:105.