Our new year is still buried in uncertainty since Benjamin isn’t here yet. I’ve been waiting to send another newsletter until his birth, but here we are into January, and Lacy is still pregnant. It’s a miracle that finds us holding our breath. Doctors predicted Benjamin would be stillborn back in September. And yet, everything the doctors declared about Lacy’s pregnancy has not come to pass. We continue to declare the name of Jesus over Lacy’s unborn baby. The Bible says God knits babies together in their mothers’ wombs so we are counting on the Lord to make Benjamin for his glory. This doesn’t mean we will get what we want, but we are trusting in Jesus no matter the outcome. Please continue to hold Jake and Lacy in your prayers. This has been so hard for them, and yet the tenderness of their faith under trial has been so beautiful to behold.

Many of you have covered our family in prayer these past five months, and I’m so grateful for all your love, support, and faith that have comforted and carried us through this painful season. How grateful we are to be stepping into a new year with fresh hope and renewed strength thanks to you shouldering this burden with us.

On New Year’s Eve, our family always walks to the ravine on our farm to welcome in the new year with prayer and stones of remembrance. This tradition began in 2012 when I was diagnosed a day after Christmas with melanoma. I was scheduled for surgery the week after New Years’ and we didn’t know what 2013 would bring. Cancer is a scary word. Scott said, “grab some sharpies. Let’s go down to the ravine and write on some rocks. What do you want to throw away?” Scott asked our seven kids and me. We were all scared and sad. “Write what you want to get rid of on your rock and toss it away.”

I wrote cancer on my rock and threw the stone as far down the creekbed as I could with tears running down my face. The kids wrote “fear” “anger” “nightmares.” I can’t remember all seven words and they tossed their rocks into the ravine. I really didn’t know if I would live to see our children grow up. Thankfully by the end of 2013, I was cancer-free, and Scott said, “this year let’s write a word we want to keep and we’ll take our rocks home and put them on the mantle to remind us.” I wrote “live” on my rock that year.

Our New Years’ trip to gather our rocks in the ravine has become one of our favorite family traditions. It’s hard to get our grown kids all together on the same day so they didn’t make it out this year but we’ve added a few more teenagers to our crew and our pets love to be a part of the tradition too. This year doves cooed in the ravine’s cottonwoods, reminding me the Holy Spirit was with us, and geese migrated overhead, their calls high in the sky one of my favorite wild songs.

Even with the boys, dogs, and this year a black cat who thinks he’s a dog, running around like goofballs in the ravine, I always sense God’s presence as we choose our words and say a prayer for the new year. For me, this is a holy moment, a heartfelt time to thank God that I am still here and our family is thriving. It’s also a chance to reflect on how I want to move into the coming months as I search for my rock.

We’re in control of so little, 2020 has made that abundantly clear, but God holds everything in his hands. This year my word is mercy. God’s mercies are new every morning. I’m counting on the Lord’s mercy to pour over our family and nation this year. “Lord, I have heard the report about you; Lord, I stand in awe of your deeds. Revive your work in these years; make it known in these years. In your wrath remember mercy!” Habakkuk 3:2.

Scott’s word is miracle. We are fervently praying that against all odds Benjamin will arrive strong and healthy in a week or two. We so appreciate you praying with us and are hanging onto hope with both hands.

Thank you to our friends Adele and Joab Maldonado for their prayers, and the use of their snowy cross picture taken in Tahoe in December on a snow-shoeing jaunt through the bright, white woods. I so love this picture and wanted to share it with all of you because it’s breathtaking.

Have you picked a word to guide you in 2021? If you have, email me or leave me a comment and I will pray this word over your life this year. Happy New Year dear friends! Praying 2021 is a year of mercy and miracles for all of us.