Every book cover tells a story. During the covid lockdown, I began writing River of Mercy, but the seed of the story had been germinating in my mind for years. In my 20s, I wrote feature stories for a daily newspaper. As a young reporter, I joined the Sacramento Sheriff’s Department to cover a story on boating safety. For a week in the late 1990s, I rode in the Sheriff’s speed boat patrolling the Sacramento River. I asked a thousand questions because reporters do that, and one answer haunted me. “Yes, there are bodies in the river in vehicles underwater we may never find.”

Fast forward to 2020, during the difficult days of the pandemic, a story was forming in my mind, with these little flashes of inspiration coming to me. Someone would die in the river, and someone would be reborn there. A murder and a baptism. That is all I had in the beginning. I began writing and the story unfolded more painfully than I’d expected. I always have my amazing cover designer Jenny Toney Quinlan, make the cover for me early, sometimes even before the book is written.

I found this image of a woman stepping into a river on the website of a British company that serves publishers and knew immediately it was my cover. The river looked like the Sacramento River and the woman resembled Maggie, one of the characters in my story. But it wasn’t until the novel was nearly finished that the photo on the back jacket came to be.

One night after a hard day of writing, Scott took me to dinner at Rocco’s in Colusa. It’s just a short drive from our farm along the levee road to get to Rocco’s. I was feeling really raw that night. I’d written a scene in the story that was painful to imagine. I actually dug deep into some buried emotions in our marriage from our dating days. Scott was my first serious boyfriend and in my senior year of high school, he broke up with me. I imagined that breakup to write the scene in my story and by the time I finished it, I was sobbing.

Quietly, we drove to dinner that night. Scott could feel my grief. We tried to talk about it over our meal, but we’d hashed out these 35-year-old feelings a hundred times before and dinner was just kind of ruined. Driving home the sun was setting. I was struggling to hold back tears. When we came upon the bridge on the backside of Colusa I said to Scott, please stop, I want to take some pictures of the sunset on the river. Scott stayed in the truck while I walked the bridge, snapped some photos, and said some prayers. How could the past still hurt us this way? I wondered. I didn’t even look at the pictures after taking them. Just got back in the truck and we hit the river road home. On the river road, tears began rolling down my face.

Are you okay? Scott asked.

“No, I’m not okay,” I said. I don’t know if I can finish this book. It’s tearing me up.”

Scott said, “it’s because you haven’t really forgiven me for our breakups.”

I said, “We’ve been married for 33 years, I’ve forgiven you, babe,” but I was crying pretty hard now.

“I’m going to call you on this, Paula. You have not forgiven me for the breakups.”

And it hit me. Scott was right. I hadn’t forgiven him for breaking my heart in high school.

“I forgive you,” I said on one of those teary sobs where you catch your breath trying to talk, and I realized it was the first time I’d said “I forgive you” out loud to him ever. As the words came out of my mouth, real forgiveness poured out too. This has brought our marriage into a new season of more mercy and grace. Healing has happened, and God brought it about as I wrote River of Mercy.

When Jenny was finishing the book jacket a few months ago, we realized we needed a photo for the back cover. I began looking online for images, but nothing hit me. Then I remembered the sunset river pictures I’d taken. I looked at the photos and couldn’t believe how perfect they were for the book jacket. And the setting is actually where the story takes place. I couldn’t have put this together if I’d tried. It came from the merciful hand of the Sunset Maker, and Jenny did a fantastic job designing it.

Writing and wrapping up this 7th book has been hard in a hundred different ways, and I’m so thankful for the people who’ve helped and loved me even at my most broken. I’m a work in progress, not only as an author but as a human being. Maybe you’re a work in progress too. If you aren’t where you thought you’d be by now, or want to be by now, always remember that river of mercy is for you too. Give yourself mercy. Give others mercy. And remember where mercy comes from. We are loved by God and made for God, little dirt people breathed to life by God and continually watered by his love and mercy.

Love you, friends.