“Sometimes you just have to return to the river to remember who you are,” my dad said to me this weekend. He’d asked me to go fishing but I told him I couldn’t go. “I’m sorry, I’ve got too much work to do, Daddy,” I said, holding my new book.

Don’t ever think your dreams won’t cost you something. They will cost you something.

I’m not sure if I like working this hard. I know this sounds bad, but it’s the truth. Adding “author” to all the hats I wear has me dancing like a circus bear. The boys still want their three meals a day and snacks in between. The house still needs cleaning, now more than ever. The laundry is a living beast that eats me alive if I don’t do my normal two to three washes a day. Usually I have my laundry done by noon, but lately I find myself folding warm clothes at 9 o’clock at night.

Our yard is overwhelming, weeds are overtaking my planters, the orchard needs mowing. My garden is the smallest it’s been in years, and I rarely walk out there to make sure my tomato plants are still alive because I’m so busy with book stuff. And our summer harvest season hits in two short weeks. Had our cherries survived this crazy weather, we’d be harvesting right now, but we’re not. The drought has been hard on our cherry trees, but this year the rain knocked the cherry crop out.

I’m used to being a wife, mother, maid, gardener, writer, farmer, fisherman, and friend. I’m not used to being an author. And I’m not sure I like it yet. The writing part I love, the selling part, no thank you! Marketing makes me very uncomfortable. Talking about my book kind of embarrasses me. The history part of the story fills me with pleasure. I’m a history buff. The romance part makes me blush. The faith message in my novel is what matters most to me. Faith really does change your life.

On Mother’s Day I found myself washing toilets. Scott came into the bathroom as I was scrubbing the porcelain throne. “What are you doing! It’s Mother’s Day and you’re cleaning the toilets!”

“I’m taking care of my family. I feel so blessed to have my big, beautiful family,” I told Scott.

And it’s the truth. Most of the time, I don’t mind my house chores. But these days I’m having trouble getting my house chores done because of all my author chores. And never in my life did I think I’d be telling my dad I couldn’t go fishing because I had too much to do. It’s always been the other way around. Daddy’s been too busy to go fishing most of my life. Daddy is one of the hardest working men I know. I think he’s a little worried I’ll forget who I am with this book in my hand.

I can’t ever imagine forgetting who I am. After 27 years writing novels that haven’t sold for one reason or another, “author” is so far down the line of what’s important to me that I really don’t think this will be a problem at all.

But the truth is, for so many reasons, we sometimes forget who we are. People wound us and we forget we are loved. Ambition overtakes us and we forget what really matters. An addiction overwhelms us and we forget everything else. Weariness sets in and we forget what we enjoy. It’s so easy to forget ourselves. And it’s even easier to forget God.

Here are ten things I’m remembering today:

1. I’m a child of God.
2. I’m a wife crazy in love with my husband.
3. I’m a mom to eight amazing kids, I’m counting Drew my son-in-law.
4. I’m a daughter to Carolyn and Garry, affectionately known as Oma and Opa, two of the hardest working people I know.
5. I’m a sister to my big brother, Patrick who has always taken care of me and works harder than the rest of us.
6. I’m a friend to so many fantastic people. I love my friends! All of them. Even my facebook friends that I only know through facebook.
7. I’m a California farm girl. And I farm.
8. I’m a writer of life, love and farming.
9. I’m a fisherman. Okay, a fisher woman. I really like fishing on the river for striper, and I love trout fishing on quiet mountain lakes or rushing mountain streams.
10. And I’m now an author. See, it’s pretty low on my list.

What is your list?

Sometimes I think we should make a list to remind ourselves of who we are. To set our priorities straight. I’m reminding myself today I don’t need to sweat over being an author.

Praying you don’t sweat over something way down on your list, either. Have a great week my friends!

And if you haven’t already downloaded my ebook, here it is for free for a few days. I wanted to give the ebook away for a Mother’s Day gift, but yesterday morning when we tried to do it, Amazon wouldn’t let us until today. If you already bought the ebook, thank you so much! If not, it’s my gift to you for the next few days!

Free Kindle eBook