Our family recently went on a wood-cutting trip. Three generations lugging ice chests of sodas and water, a lunch of salami, cheese, crackers, and sardines, plus plenty of leather gloves for log throwing, not lunch eating.

I grew up in a family with workdays like these. When I was young, I can’t say I enjoyed them, but looking back, I enjoyed them. The worst workday was clam-digging with my grandparents in the fog and cold and mud of Tomales Point over at Point Reyes Seashore. My favorite, gathering cattle on horseback in the hills, then spending the day branding and doctoring cows and calves with everyone doing their part.

In between the ocean and the hills, there were days of picking up rocks in the pasture, picking up decoys around the duck blinds, and of course, cutting wood. The whole family worked together. There was laughter and teasing and frogs left in boots, and lunch on the tailgate of pickups. There were also potlucks when barns were raised, potlucks for the opening of hunting seasons, and potlucks after all the pickups returned from the hills loaded down with wood.

Now wood-burning fireplaces are growing scarce in California, even outlawed in some places, and scarcer still is the family workday. Even the family supper is becoming something else. Something not about family at all, but about the self. We are becoming a self-loving society. I was shocked awhile back when Scott and I went to brunch on a Sunday afternoon at a lovely restaurant. Every table, every family sat around on their cell phones. Tapping quietly alone on their phones. With their families all around them, but all alone. Young children all but ignored. Older children on their phones, too, ignoring everyone else. When I was young, you didn’t ignore your elders. I can’t imagine ignoring my grandparents at the table, or my parents or a sibling for that matter. This was considered rude when I was a kid.

I thought about this modern Sunday brunch as I helped our younger boys climb into the big oak tree near where their dad cut wood on our family workday. How glad I was to leave my phone in the truck. Gladder still, we hardly had any reception up in the hills. None of us messed with our phones, we all messed with each other. All day.  An entire day. Of sticks and trees and boys and wood. And red-tailed hawks soaring overhead.

My dad, Opa, brought out his old red jeep, and John and Joey took driving lessons, Opa laughing and cussing a little too, encouraging his grandsons to stay on the dirt road between trees where the men chainsawed and winter sunshine shone down like approval. Our married daughter, Cami, invited the other half of her family, Drew’s wonderful parents and sister, and a friend joined us. After several hours of cutting wood, we all migrated to a pond, and worked on a fence, and chased frogs.

 

 

Today’s generation is really good at letting their kids play sports and play iPads and play King of the Family. Teaching children to work and be a servant is about as popular these days as plucking chickens for dinner. When I was a kid, we sometimes had to pluck chickens for dinner and it didn’t hurt me a bit. In fact, it helped me see at a very early age that I was an important part of the family–not self important– family important. That the world didn’t revolve around little ole me, it revolved around helping those I loved.

Family workdays are a great way to teach our children how to work and how to serve and how to love their family instead of getting lost in loving themselves. I realize I’m blessed to live in the country where there’s a lot of work to do. I know many people live in the city. But a lot of country roads need clean up crews. Take your city family to the country and pick up trash along the road if you can’t think of anything else to do to teach your children how to work and how to serve. Pack a lunch and find a pretty place to eat after gathering a bag of trash.

If your children are too small for roads, go to Grandma’s house and clean up her yard. Or adopt a grandparent and clean up their yard. Or clean up a city park. Say a prayer asking God how to do family workdays. And don’t just work, have fun together on these days. Work together. Eat together. Play together. And leave your phones at home for the sake of America. For the sake of your human soul. Make yourself good-old-fashioned tired and make your children good-old-fashioned tired and pray to grow good-old-fashioned tired of living in a self-indulgent society and do something about it. The Bible says, “Those unwilling to work, will not get to eat” 2 Thessalonians 3:10. Now that’s something to chew on.