The song Stand by Me, originally released in 1961, made a comeback when I was in college. Scott and I were dating at the time and that became our song. We were young, but I was ready to get married. Scott, on the other hand, was set on joining the Army for a life of adventure. Tired of dating, I told him that I wanted a station wagon and babies. Back then the only SUVs were the big Chevy Suburbans, which few families drove. People with lots of kids owned station wagons. “If you don’t see a station wagon and babies for your future too, then we need to part ways,” I said to Scott.

Breaking my heart, Scott replied, “I don’t see this for myself right now so I guess we’re done.”

After this conversation, we went to the barber shop and Scott got his first Army hair cut. Then I put him on a bus bound for military training. I thought we were finished that day.

Nine months later, out of the blue, Scott returned ready to get married. There was a lot of pain under the bridge of loving him and I wasn’t sure I wanted Scott back. I prayed in those days, but I really didn’t know Jesus. Torn over this life decision, I asked God what I should do. I was in my little Toyota and only had about ten minutes before I reached my apartment across town so I said to the Lord, “If Scott is the guy you want me to marry, please let me hear our song before I get home.” The chance of this happening was slim to none, but I also knew God could produce the song on the radio if He wanted to.

Several tunes played before I reached my driveway. None were Stand by Me.

I was crying when I walked up the stairs to my apartment. I really took this as a sign from God that I was not meant to marry Scott.

When I opened the door of my college pad, there sat my roommate watching the movie, Stand by Me. The song was even playing on the TV at that moment. I was beyond shocked.

A week later, Scott and I became engaged and the first song we danced to at our wedding was Stand by Me.

I tell you this story because this coming week is our 21st wedding anniversary. Thankfully, I never got that station wagon with the faux wood panel doors, but six babies in a Suburban have come to us by the hand of God. In all honesty, I’ve had years when I didn’t want to stand by Scott. We’ve weathered seasons when walking away from our marriage seemed appealing. I even decided I wanted a divorce eleven years ago. I was a church-goer in those days, but I hadn’t laid down my life for the Lord, yet. Rarely did God speak to me back then, but one night at the height of my brokenness over my marriage, I heard the Lord say, “No divorce.”

It really was that simple and that clear. I also sensed God saying, “Now is the time to lay down your life for me. You will do this by laying down your life for your husband.”

This was so not what I wanted to hear that night. I didn’t want to fix what was broken in my life, I wanted something new. The temptation to start over was overwhelming. Divorce was an open highway headed for relief, but there was God standing at a crossroad of my life pointing his finger up a steep mountain incline. “I will go with you,” Jesus assured me. “You stand by your husband and I will stand by you.”

It was the best choice I ever made, climbing that marriage mountain with the Lord at my side. Serving Christ means we serve others. Doing what we think is best for ourselves is never an option. And it’s never about who’s right. Real Christianity is about being right with God. Jesus says, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me” Matthew 16:24.

This never feels good in the beginning. In the middle it hurts too. It is only when we reach our destination that the weight of the cross is removed from our shoulders.

The destination at the top of my mountain was a redeemed marriage. In the midst of this, I was given a redeemed husband and three more beautiful children. Had I left Scott eleven years ago, we would not have John, Joey and Garry today; three precious little boys who fill our lives with laughter. I would not have the marriage I’ve always dreamed of, and my life would not be a sweet aroma to my Lord.

My devotion today from Streams in the Desert talks about the world’s supply of attar of roses. To maintain their strongest scent, the roses must be gathered in the darkest hours. The pickers begin at one in the morning and finish at two, said James Creelman, the man who visited the Balkan Mountains and tells this tale in the devotion. Creelman goes on to say, “At first it seemed to me a relic of superstition; but I investigated the picturesque mystery, and learned that actual scientific tests had proven that fully forty percent of the fragrance of roses disappeared in the light of day.”

If you are in a dark place right now, remember this attar of roses story. The scent of who you are in Christ should be at its strongest in the night. This can only be done in the power of the Holy Spirit when we lay down our lives for the Lord.