Aaron Rodgers donated a million dollars to the Camp Fire survivors but did not call his mom to make sure she was okay. Perhaps while packing up to evacuate the fire, Aaron’s mom was hoping to hear from her son. She’s reached out to him numerous times in the past several years, but he’s never reached back.

“It’s complicated,” Aaron’s father Ed told the New York Times in 2017. “We are all hoping for the best.”

The best being reconciliation, I suppose.

Family rifts are so painful. I’m sure Aaron’s parents just want him back. The boy they raised. The son they love. Perhaps the kid they took camping with his brothers in the mountains above the little town of Paradise lost to the Camp Fire. My heart goes out to these parents, to Aaron, and his brothers. Sometimes things are said, things are done in a family, and it’s like a wildfire. Everything flames out of control in spite of your efforts to stop it, and you’re not even sure why your family has burned down.

“When your own Mom is home alone during the fires, car packed ready to evacuate, & you miss the fundamental first step of compassion; calling your parents to make sure they are safe…. Everything else just feels like an act,” said Jordan Rodgers, Aaron’s younger brother. Clearly, Jordan is bitter towards his famous big brother, which only increases the distance within the family.

My guess is that Aaron’s mom aches over the rancor between her sons. As moms, we all want our kids to get along, to love each other, and be there for each other when we parents are gone. A lot of people are giving their opinions on social media right now. Aaron is a piece of crap for not calling his mom. But do these opinions really matter? Do you think the recipients of Aaron’s donation care what people safe and cozy in homes still standing think on social media? They’ve lost their houses, their pets, some have even lost loved ones. There are nearly five hundred people still missing that may never be found. There’s nothing left to even bury. What matters to these fire ravished people is that someone cares enough about them to help them rebuild their lives with real dollars. This equals real compassion to these people who have lost everything. Someone’s two cents on Twitter or Facebook doesn’t help them at all.

And I certainly don’t think Aaron’s million dollar donation is an act. I believe the Packer’s star quarterback genuinely cares about his childhood home in Butte County. I think he’s a good guy wanting to do a good thing, but I also think that million dollars was easier for Aaron to give than forgiveness.

Why does forgiveness cost so much?

If you’ve ever held back forgiveness from someone who really wanted it, you know the power it holds, not only over the other person but over you. Unforgiveness becomes a suit of armor you wear to protect yourself. That other person has hurt you and you don’t ever want them to hurt you again. You withhold your love. You withhold your heart. Sometimes you withhold everything from people who have hurt you. You cut yourself off from them completely as Aaron has done with his family.

I ache for Aaron Rodgers, and his mom and dad, I really do. The years are passing. His mom and dad are aging. They won’t be around forever. Forgiveness has an expiration date here on earth. Time runs out. And if you’re a Christian, you are taught: “If you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins” Matthew 6:15, NIV. 

If you’re a believer, unforgiveness not only separates you from others, it separates you from God. That’s a heavy price to pay. That I believe is worth more than a million bucks.